NLP and Hypnosis Can Aid You In Total Self-confidence Help

Self-confidence is a feeling that is garnered through experiences. When a person experiences success, that person will tend to expect to be successful. And that expectation will cause a feeling of confidence.

For example: A man wants to be an extreme fighter, so he gets a manager and takes lessons. His manager will not  put him into a competition until he has built up proficient fighting skills. And even then, the manager will only put him up against an opponent that he knows his fighter can pound. When his fighter beats the contender, he is successful, and starts to gain a feeling of confidence in his abilities.

With each combat, the manager puts his fighter up against an opponent who is a slightly better contender then the last, but not good enough to beat his man. By the end of the third fight, the young contender begins to expect to win his fourth, and so his confidence continues to expand. This series of events continues to repeat itself. And as long as the contender wins, his expectations of success, and his feelings of self-confidence will continue to expand.

If a person who has a long history of success and feelings of self-confidence does fail, they still tend to expect success the next time out. Conversely, when a person who is weak in the self-confidence department fails, they tend to lose confidence, and begin to expect failure, which can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Having self-confidence doesn’t mean that individuals will be successful at everything. People, who have true self-confidence, usually have expectations that are down-to-earth. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

People who are not self-confident, tend to rely disproportionately on the approval of others in order to feel self-esteem. They refrain from taking risks for fear of failure. They often belittle themselves and tend to discount or ignore compliments that they do receive.

On the other side of the coin, secure people will risk the disapproval of other people because they generally trust their own prowess. They tend to accept. A lack of self-confidence is often the result of focusing completely on the ridiculous expectancies of other people, especially those of friends and parents. The affect of peers can be more powerful than those of parents in shaping the feelings about one’s self.

Beliefs That Continue to Influence Self-Confidence

In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are good and some are not. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking are:

ASSUMPTION: I always have to be successful at every challenge I undertake. This assumption is totally unrealistic. In life, each person has his strengths and his weaknesses. While it’s important to learn to do the best that one can, it’s more important to learn to accept the self as being human, and fallible. Feel good about what you are good at, and accept the fact that no one knows everything nor are they an expert at everything.

ASSUMPTION: I must be perfect, and loved by everyone, and satisfy everyone. Again, this assumption is totally unrealistic. All human beings are less than perfect. It’s better to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on the approval of others.

ASSUMPTION: Everything that happened to me in the past remains in control of my feelings and behaviors in the present.

ALTERNATIVE: While it is true that your confidence was especially subject to external influences when you were a very young child, as you mature, you can gain knowledge, understanding and a new point of view on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don’t have to be helpless because of past events. HERE ARE SOME STRATEGIES FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE HELP:

Emphasize Your Strengths. Bestow upon yourself credit for everything you can do. And give yourself credit for every new adventure that you are willing to test. Take risks. Adopt the perspective of: I never fail, because there are NO failures. However, sometimes I find out what does not work, and once I’ve learned what doesn’t work in a given situation, I can attempt something else.

Use Self-Talk: Use an inner dialog with yourself and counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to stop. Substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that no one can do everything perfectly, and that it’s only possible to do things to the best of your ability. This allows you to accept yourself while still working towards improvement.

Make mental movies: Visualize yourself in the various scenarios that you currently lack confidence in. But see yourself behaving like a person who has tremendous self-confidence would. There are many powerful NLP and Hypnosis approaches that you can use to create a monumental amount of self-confidence from within your subconscious mind. There are even NLP techniques that will let you take confidence that you do have in areas of your life, and then transplant that confidence to areas of your life that are lacking confidence!

Self-Evaluate: Learn to adjudge yourself as an individual. Avoid the continual sense of chaos that comes from relying on what other people think.

Alan B. Densky, CH is a certified hypnotist and NLP Practitioner. His website offers self hypnosis CD’s for self-confidence. His Self-confidence CD’s were reviewed by Personal-Development.info in England. Visit him for Free self hypnosis & NLP newsletters and articles.

Tagged with: positive self-talk • self confidence help

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